I am five and a half days into a thirty day detoxification program. I only eat raw vegetables, fruits, and nuts, plus lots of water and a set of increasingly vile-tasting herbal concoctions that do interesting things to my gastrointestinal system. Also, I eat dirt. Bentonite clay, specifically, presumably to draw out the toxins that won't jump ship by themselves.

If you're familiar with such programs you know there is more fun to come, the details of which I will skip over for this family-friendly website.

Why am I doing this? The truth is I have a variety of random health complaints. Are they caused by toxins stuck in my system? Darned if I know. But this program, while occasionally unpleasant, will clearly do no actual harm. And who knows, it may help. I'll certainly lose some weight, because raw vegetables? Not so appetizing. Mostly it was my wife's idea. She either loves me very much or hates me very much. She's doing it with me, so I tend to go with the former. But when I'm downing the dirt I think otherwise.

If you think you'll see Dewey going through something similar down the road you are absolutely right. Getting good material for the strip is sometimes all that makes life's indignities bearable.

Update: We stepped off the wagon. This month I am taking two business trips and we are moving houses. It's a hard time to have a severely constrained diet. So we are punting until August. A nice plus is that there will be a bevy of summer fruits and vegetables available. Look forward to more whining then.