I usually write about libraries. And I’ve also covered other important subject matter like cats that won’t use their litter boxes.

Now, with a friend of mine, I’m venturing into new territory: Fifty Shades of Brains, an explicit Fifty Shades parody. It’s full of sex, zombies, and really annoying internal monologues. It pokes fun at Seattle, erotica, horror novels inexplicably filled with albinos, and people who spend too much time on their hair.

We think you’ll love it if you loved Fifty Shades of Grey. We think you’ll love it if you hated Fifty Shades, too.

You may be asking yourself, “Why did Gene write this?” Well, I’ve always wanted to write a novel. I’m a huge fan of B-movies with stilted dialogue and cheap special effects. And I managed to convince a friend who is far funnier than I am, in what she insists was a moment of weakness, to write it with me. We made each other laugh throughout the editing process, and it shows. (All the sick parts of the book — everything that would make you (or future employers) wonder about me — those were her ideas.) Together we are writing under the name “BF Dealeo”.

Plus this is my chance to show the world how I think publishers should treat libraries. Your library can distribute unlimited digital copies of this book, forever, after buying a few physical copies. Here are details about this offer.

Fifty Shades of Brains is available for preorder in the Unshelved store now. Copies ordered before March 28th will be signed by both of us using our real (first) names.

I’m also posting the book online for free, one chapter at a time, at www.fiftyshadesofbrains.com. And if you can’t wait it’s already available as an ebook in a variety of formats in several ebook marketplaces. There are even some free copies up for grabs right now on LibraryThing.

If you review books, or just tell people about them on Twitter or elsewhere, email me for an advanced copy, and let me know if you’d prefer a PDF or epub.

PS: We also have a Facebook page.